All Romeos Must Die

I hate men. I especially hate men that are really boys just growing older. Just having birthdays that don't really in any way make them any more mature.

Any guy I come across has a new thing. Some anti-Marissa thing.

Maybe they don't like my hair. Or the fact that I'm extremely quirky and at times I have memory lapses. Maybe it's because I'm different, I suppose.

They sleep with me because they don't love me. Or care about me for that matter. Explain that one. I've tried. I just don't get it. I'm damn good in the sack, if I do say so myself (and I do.) And yet do they care about anything more than just a good roll in the hay? I think you know that answer. And if it was yes, I wouldn't be enduring such anguish.

I don't know why I feel this way. I can't control it I suppose. I mean, if I could control my feelings and all human life could control their feelings we wouldn't have Paxil (tm) or Zoloft (tm).

The silent torment is licking my bones. It's been 4 months (in 1 day) since I've last had a date. That's the longest stretch in 5 years. It sounds pathetic and desperate that I keep track, but what kind of girl would I be if I didn't?

Fuck you.

Yeah that's right. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! How much more can this tiny girl take?! I'm fragile you know, easily breakable. So watch it.

Have a nice night.

Wow! That's So Funny!

A funny thing happened to me today.

This is where I would post what happened to me that was particularly funny.

But nothing funny did happen to me. I just thought it would be a good opener.

How could something funny possibly happen to me today? It's only 10 o'clock and I haven't even taken a shower. Maybe something funny would happen in the shower. Like, say, I dropped some shampoo or something. But that didn't happen yet, so I can't write about it right now, right?

I only got up an hour ago. Not even. Try 45 minutes. In that time, I made french toast while chewing on some Gertrude Hawke Smidgens I recieved for Christmas. Then someone came to the door. I was embarrassed about my outfit and even more embarrassed about my retainer. Then I ate. Nothing funny there.

My mom came home. She had underwear and pantyhose in her hands. Yes, she came in with pantyhose and underwear in her hands. No bag or anything! But still, that's not that funny. Am I right?

And now here I am. I'm a little bit gassy from the french toast and and in dire need of a shower. I'm still wearing a "Fashion Don't," as they say and there's nothing funny to report.

But HA! I knew that line would suck you in!

Have a lovely day. Make sure something funny happens. It's good to laugh.

Good Evening

Good evening to all of you out there in Journal Land.

I'm now officially in my second semester of college. I think that is grand. Don't you agree?

Elemenatray Statistics was my only class today. My teacher, Mr. Kulis, reminds me of a Jim Carrey character. He's kinda silly like that.

Tomorrow I will have a schedule from 9-5. *pouts* But it's all good. I have a two hour break in there somewhere.

I'm exhausted, so I will be leaving you for tonight.

G'night.

Have a lovely day.

My Favorite Poem

My favorite poem as a child was this, and I am typing from memory, mind you.

"My New Shoes"

See my new shoes

so bright and so black

a bow at the front

a tap at the back

they're only for parties

Mother tucks them away

but sometimes I find them

and I dance and I play

I click and I clatter

all down the hall

oh how I love my new shoes

but Dad doesn't at all.

 

That brings me back. To a time when life was simple. When life consisted of nothing more than mudpies and catepillars and all boys had cooties. Well, some still do. I wish I still had my childhood naivete and innocence to protect me from the harshness of the outside world but unfortunately, this little mudpie-making catepillar-catching girl has grown up and she's all alone.

Disney World Really Is Magical

Disney World really is a magical place.

It changed my life in 8 short days.

My parents held hands. Now I ask you, how long has it been since that last happened? Let's just say I wasn't around and Richard Nixon was probably in office.

I fell in love with Aladdin. He can take me on a magic carpet ride anytime he'd like. I heard those things get good gas mileage.

My family got along. Well, for the first 5 days or so. After that it was downhill. Sister threw a fit about miniature golf and brother had a tizzy about a hotdog. I figure us getting along was party due to the fact that my mother had bronchitis and laryngitis and couldn't talk, or, for that matter, yell at us.

Everyone is Disney World is super-di-duper-y nice. I can't even count the array of interesting conversations I had with the bus drivers, the characters (Belle and Genie, both) and the waiters/waitresses at the restauraunts.

Did I mention while I was there that I had the best meal of my life? Yes, it's true. If i was on Death Row I would go to Emeril's for my final meal. Everything was exquisite. I had the 14oz. porkchop with sweet potatoes with a honey glaze and braised red cabbage, a radicchio walnut and endive salad and for dessert Emeril's world famous banana cream pie! The crust was made out of real bananas! How can you beat that?! BAM!

My life is completely transformed. I'm tanned and moving down there ASAP.

And a sidenote, it isn't so magical to make me ever ride the Tower of Terror again. It was TERRIFYING! I CRIED!

 

 

 

90% off...Life Just Doesn't Get Any Better

Can you believe it? I woke up to a ringing telly at 9 a.m. I figured I should embrace the day and, reluctantly, roll out of bed and go out with mia madre for breakfast.

For as long as I can remember, "breakfast out" was at a quaint, ski lodge-esque cafe in a nearby town. It's sometimes the only constant in my life. But-hey now, what's this? They changed the name?! Why on earth would they do that?!

Anyhow, we go in, recognized by all (think 'the place where everybody knows your name') and first thing out of my mouth to my wonderful friend/waiter/chef Mike, "What the hell were you thinking?!"

The menu's changed a bit, but they still have my usual. Granola with yogurt and bananas, although today it felt like eating a bowl full of carboard, but I digress.

So after breakfast, madre and I go to the local CVS (it's WAY better than ours) and I head to the clearance section. No, I'm not cheap...THRIFTY! And Good Lord in the Heavens above! 90% off! GODDAMN LIFE JUST DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER!

Xmas Garland   .29

Xmas Candle Set   .69

Vase   .59

Xmas paper   .19    (Can you believe that?!)

Tree Topper   .49

So, you can pretty much see that I lived out one of my wet dreams today.

Have a lovely day.

No, YOU have a lovely day.

The Best Sandwhich in the World

Here is my kick-ass recipe for the best sandwhich in the world. But first, this isn't any ordinary sandwhich. This, my friend, is a breakfast sandwhich. Yes, you read that right. A breakfast sandwhich. It has everything breakfast has to offer between to slices of toasted bread, or what I like to call "toast."

First, you boil the water for your eggs. These are poached eggs. (See the aforementioned.) Then, you put 2 slices of bread into the toaster and, if you are a cool "techie" like me, you have the 4-slice toaster, which makes it easier to toast your toastable hash brown at the same time thus, making cold breakfasts obsolete. You have to have the right state of mind before you even start the actual cooking. That way, everything will be done at the same time. It's the positive outlook that makes this sandwhich great.

Next, get your poacher all positioned. Add butter. Watch as butter melts. Then add the eggs. In this case, we will need two. Salt and Pepper them. My motto is, "Stick with what you know." And also, pepper is good on EVERYTHING. Look at the time. Your eggs will be ready in 3 minutes.

While you anxiously await the cooking of these eggs, prepare your jelly mixture for the toast. Get raspberry jelly and add pepper. Stir.

*Toaster Pops* Sweeeeeet. Butter toast immediately and put a dollop* of jelly mixture on it. Add hash brown. OOOOHHH looky here! 3 minutes are up! Grab up those eggs and toss 'em in the middle of the 2 toasted slices of bread (again, what I like to call "toast") and the hash brown, smoosh together and bam! There you go! The best breakfast sandwhich ever! But be careful, it turns pink and gets mushy real fast. Also, never put the sandwhich down. You won't be able to scoop it back up. Oh yeah and don't look inside. It's not very appetizing to look at, either.

Please pass the orange juice?

 

*Dollop-a generous heap of de-lishness