happy mother's day.

wow. i am in awe of things at the moment. of life. of how good it can be when you learn to just let go and live it. when you undo the years of worrying and being angry and feeling as if you're unworthy of what you truly deserve.

today feels like i'm approaching the close of a year and the opening of a whole new chapter. no, i haven't gone completely mad. i do have some concept of time. it's not new years per se, but for me it's drawing nearer and nearer...my first year sober. i am just beyond grateful that i got the help i needed when i did.

in other news, travis and i have perhaps finally made the decision to not relocate. it seems so right for so many reasons, but have found judgement in the eyes of others who are unmarried....."why settle here?"..."don't get sucked in!"...."do NOT own property in Utica, NY"....but of course these words themselves seemed to be doused in "don't you want more for youself?"

the question to me is what more is there? we've found a beautiful love and are settling in to our lives together. we want to invest in us. the house, the kids, the maybe too-typical natural next step. but here we are. and we just know. and you know what? it's simply delightful.