Bibbity Bobbity Who?

There are so many excuses out there (in my house, in my head) as to why I don't update this often, or write as much as I'd like. My main argument is generally "I have nothing to write about." This statement is far from true. Possibilities of topics to ruminate over are endless. I guess I feel I am trying to cater to imaginary readers' literary appetite when, in fact, a shit I do not give! At least that's what I will keep telling myself! This blog contains 500+ entries chronicling my life's last nine years. It's seen me change and grow as much as it has seen me stay the same. Though a tad less cynical these days and much more grateful, I am finally comfortable in my own (uncomfortable) shoes. That too has changed little. My closet shelves are still lined with shoeboxes, many of them high heels that aren't worn often enough... ...but who would expect a new mother to tread down a flight of icy Upstate NY steps in stilettos while gripping an infant carrier?! This isn't Sex and the City! This is Motherhood in Boonies! So my Steve Maddens turned into old slippers. And my party dresses into pajamas. This is some ass-backwards Cinderella shit. And I wouldn't wish for it to be any other way.

Trick or Treat! or Baby!

Oh and what a Happy New Year it is! Our little guy, Max, joined us on Halloween at 11:43 in the a.m. after a mostly uneventful 11 hours of labor. The most 'excitement' was that day...had my now routine sonograms, since I was experiencing intrauterine growth restriction and baby had only gained 2 ounces in 2 weeks. I was scheduled for induction on 11/1/12 at 38w1d. Although my midwife was certain I would not make it! The nursery hadn't even been primed or painted at this point, baby showers gifts and furniture were in a GIANT heap in the living room, most still with tags and packaging. Things had to be bought. And my butt hurt. The next 6 hours were a daze of dozing on and off, while Travis and our buddy painted the nursery and daddy-to-be headed off to work. I slept some more before heading out to Target and Babies R Us for some last minute purchases. Erin and I came home at 10 that night, opened all of the gifts to get them ready for washing, and began to FINALLY set up the nursery. Travis got home at midnight as Erin and I were debating the layout. After a busy evening and aching butt, I laid down at 12:30 and Travis sat on the floor near the bed and we chatted. I knew something felt funny. Wasn't sure if it was nerves or what. Do nerves feel like a gush of water? Apparently so! Travis nervously asked me if I needed anything while I phoned the midwife. He threw me a towel and I told him to go wash the tub. He did and hurried back and told me he had cleaned it before even asking 'Why?' I said "I don't know! You needed something to do!" We hopped in the car and made the late night drive, Travis gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles, me eating the apple that he sliced for me before we left. The next seven hours, I drifted in and out of sleep again, and Travis passed out slumped over in a chair, hood on, head resting on my bed. I woke up to a cat face. She looked familiar. Oh, I had graduated with this cat. And it was Halloween. I hadn't progressed much so the dreadful dose of Pitocin was ordered. The next four hours found me in the WORST PAIN EVER. Every two minutes or so I begged for an Epi and a C-section, both things I swore I didn't want throughout my entire pregnancy. I had to wait until I was at least 4cm dilated before Epi could be administered. Around 11:30 the kitty cat Christina started to set up for it. Around 11:35 I thought my insides were falling out. Around 11:35 I screamed a scream I didn't know I even had in me. She told me it was time. The midwife didn't make it in time. She was across the street at the practice! Three small pushes was all it took. I screamed, not because it hurt, but because I WAS SO SCARED. Travis told me it was a boy, just how I dreamed it. I also dreamt early on that it was a cat...

Maxwell James, 5lbs 9oz, 19.5in long, 10/31/12.