Fall-ing.

Okay, okay. I guess an update is long overdue. No, I haven't forgotten my dear Eggie, I have just been...(insert excuses here). I could fill those ellipses with "busy" or "lazy" or "pregnant." Yes, it's true! Just a few more weeks and we will have a sweet little addition to our family. I'm unsure if Prudence and Mayfield are as excited as Travis and myself. It's been a great pregnancy thus far without many complaints. Until recently. I'm now full term and have been on bed rest for the last month. I had to give up my job at the library where I was working in the Children's Room. It was hard for me because that was the first job in a long while that I truly enjoyed. The patrons were unpredictable, the young ones were adorable and the 'tweens were unbearable but I thoroughly enjoyed attempting to reprimand them. Being in a position of working with children is something I never thought I'd be capable of. Then again, being in a position of having a child of my own is another thing I never thought I was capable of. I didn't grow up with many babies around. I was the baby. The first baby I held was my cousin when I was 12 years old. She lived miles away so I didn't see much of her as a young'n. Between my husband and I, we have never changed a diaper to this day. Growing up, especially during and after those "formative years," my reasoning for not wanting children was because I couldn't understand WHY a child should be brought into such a horrific world. A world of bullying, terrorism, unsettling political practices, mental illness and death...the list goes on. Now that I am typing this, I still see the validity of my arguments, but there are some factors that were left out due to my sheer lack of experience. Experience that came with age, wisdom that arrived with a newfound openness. I love my husband. And our house. And our life. Sure, there are still horrific things in this world...but there are great things too. Things I wasn't even open to therefore completely unaware of. And not blissfully unaware. I am blissfully aware now. I was previously miserably unaware of anything other than my pessimistic nature. Don't get me wrong, I am still very much a pessimist. And a worrier. And a whole mess of anxiety and nerves. Is the glass half empty? Not anymore. It's overflowing. But only when I allow myself to not worry about the spill.