get out your violins...

nothingness | Aimee Mann Invisible Ink

I feel like updating but I don't feel like I have much to say.

I went to the movies last night with my friend Megan to see "Derailed." Let me just say, the previews were totally misleading. The movie was horrifying. P.S. Clive Owen = hawt.

Has anyone else caught the inane one-word pseudonym for Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn and thier coupling? Grab a hose, folks, 'cause Vaughniston is heating up! As if Bennifer wasn't bad enough. What's next? Brangelina?

Ree-diculous.

I've been listening to Aimee Mann on a loop. I love her voice. I love the words. Her music and lyrics have made me miss writing poetry. I don't know why I haven't written in so long. Lack of inspiration, I suppose. And laziness.

I've found that doing stuff interrupts my laziness.

And as of late, I find myself becoming more and more of a Depresserella. I don't like it. I don't know if it's because I'm just bored with everything or if I'm still upset about John or if I've been thinking too much. Nothing feels worth it.

And let's face it. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer. I'm the fictitious cheese that stands alone. So on top of just feeling all-around morose, I feel a heavy sort of shame, too, toward my friends who have to listen to me and to my family, who have to live with me.

I'm not sure of what to do, really. What other options are there aside from medicine and therapy? My mom told me to go out for a walk and boost my seretonin levels. I think my seretonin level has been a steady 0 since the age of 5.

I'm pretty positive that nobody wants to date someone who is a complete basketcase. (what exactly is the functional purpose of a basket case? is there such a thing?)

I'm also quite sure that none of you want to read someone's depressing blog, either.

I have made the conscious decision that one day, when someone asks me how I'm doing, I would love to say "can't complain," and actually mean it.

Work has been stressful. It's Christmas time already there, so I've already had my fair share of potted silk poinsettas and light-up snowmen with high speed blinker setting. I've also been butting heads with one of my coworkers that I hate. My boss and I, however, totally bonded recently and she told me what a great worker I was. It made me giggle like a schoolgirl again.

In speaking of school,I would like to proudly announce that I have transferred to a college that I will start full-time at in January! I am quite excited.

Okay. This is the time in the morning where I have to talk myself out of bed. "Come on, Marissa. You can do it. There's a whole day ahead of me. And hopefully somewhere in that day there's a cup of coffee with your name on it..."