Fiddle-y Diddle-y Dee.

I'm looking for the bright side here and it's not looking so bright.

The other day I help my grammy clean out her attic, my favorite past-time ever...organizing, going through old family heirlooms....getting to take anything home i want! YAY! I worked my butt off and it felt good. We had lots of bonding time and sharing of memories, priceless.

I don't know if you know this, but I haven't had a job in 6 months now. Depression and anxiety and pernicious anemia and endometriosis and circumstances have taken their toll...luckily my rent is dirt cheap and I still have a pretty steady income that includes eBay, garage sales and my life savings. Too bad other people don't consider it to be a "real" job. But my opinion is, I'm paying my bills SO FUCK EM!

This weekend is going to be stressful. There's not enough Xanax in the world to make me get through 3 whole days of nothing but my in-laws. Sure, I'm proud of Travis graduating, but I don't need to sit through the whole 4 hour ceremonious bullshit. I skipped my own. He's only going because his mommy is making him and we are both miserable about it. Ooh and on top of that I get to choose which parent to sit with...his mom who makes my hair turn gray just thinking about her...or his dad who I told better at least sneak in a flask for us. And a bridal shower in the mix for my future sis-in-law and birthday din din for his mom...hopefully somewhere in the next 72 hours I find time to make a goddamn potato salad and cheesecake for another family get together. GARRR. It'd be different if we all got along...

I guess the bright side is that I don't have to see my family this weekend. My mom and all her lies and bullshit and my brother with his penchant for womanizing and declaring bankruptcy and having houses foreclosing....not to mention my ongoing sibling rivalry with my tempermental sis and a dad whom I adore but fear so much for his health.

I feel like there's no way out.