Thaw me a river.

I looked at my calendar as I walked out the door this morning but it gave me no warning that January 19th is actually The Day From Hell.

Right off the bat, my luck was in the toilet. I had to wake up at 8 o'clock in the a.m. Everyone who knows Marissa knows that she isn't not a morning person. In fact, morning itself puts me into mourning. It feels unnatural. I should wake up when my body and mind want to, not when an alarm clock in the form of my mother barges in and rips the sheets off my body.

So I somehow manage to get out the door in time to go to the bank (I laughed all the way there) and then to work. I had to get money to go pick up the skirt I had on hold for me in Syracuse. Mother Nature had other plans. Freakin' bitch.

I've always always always hated the fact that some outside force can screw up your plans. I like to screw up my own plans. No, scratch that. I hate plans in the first place. Plans rarely ever work out. I'm spontaneous. I do things when and if I feel like doing them. So the idea of SNOW messing up my life just sends me right on over the edge. It's like my parents couldn't handle their job of ruining my life, they had to send in a greater superpower so they wouldn't get their hands dirty. Ugh. Big UGH.

It blizzarded (haha) ALL day in Syracuse. Utica? I must ask you, what is it good for? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. There was a total of two snowflakes and my mother cried meteorologist. "You can't go get your skirt. It's awful outside." Hang on a second, Mom, while I thaw out my frozen violin.

I tell her I'm going anyway. There's a reason why I have a vehicle with four wheel drive. Upstate New York is that reason. If I wanted to lead the life of a bear in th wintertime, I'd hibernate. I wanted to go get my damn skirt. It was only $12, but all in all, plus gas money it was well over $30. Whatever. I don't care. I'd like to have a moment of contentment in a green skirt. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.

So, I'm medium annoyed. I go back to my register to help a customer. "I'm really ticked," she starts off, "I bought all of this stuff (flashes lengthy receipt) and the next day it all went on sale. I want a price adjustment." Oh yeah lady? I want a life adjustment. Get in line elsewhere.

Her little transaction made me miss my break. This is where the extra large annoyed comes in.

The phone rings. It's my dad. He proceeds to yell at me. "What? You don't believe me when I say the weather is bad and you're not going? It's just a stupid skirt. And you have the audacity to call me at work and not even ask if I'm busy and then bother me with stupid stuff like a skirt?!"

I hang up.

I call my mom.

My work friend and supervisor Tracy tells me to keep personal phone calls to a minimum because she's getting dirty looks from some of our coworkers and our boss.

Icing on the annoyed.

I hang up.

"They're pissed because I'm using the phone?" OUTRAGE. "ALL I DO ALL DAY IS TAKE THEIR FUCKING PHONE CALLS AND THEY'RE MAD AT ME?"

I am so over this shit.

I do my job so well, I go out of my way to do things for my bosses and customers, yet they only recognize when I do something wrong. Cuh-rist. They sit in thier offices and chat all day to their husbands and wives and whoever. They let the girl with cancer use the phone all she wants and I swear it's because she has cancer. Well you know what? I'm going to tell them I have SARS. That way I can use the phone all I want.

AND ANOTHER THING!

It's not my fault they scheduled me 35 hours this week and I have no time to do anything but help snotty nosed kids count out pennies for Kids Crafts everyday. Whateva Whateva, I do what I want!

This work thing is not for me. In fact, this life thing is not for me. It's such a drag. Waste all my time doing shit I don't want to. My mom told me after complaining about work and school that "that's life." No it's not life. And if I knew this was how it was going to be I would've never signed up.

And then she called me rebellious because of the nose ring.

I felt like I was just slapped in the face. Apparently I have no authenticity. I just do things to upset my parents. Now I know what they think of me. And I'm sure the outside world feels the same. Candid Camera has caught me, I'm a poser. Zing.

I went to the mall to try and cheer myself up. I should've known it wouldn't make me feel any better. I ended up spending $20 on makeup. Yeah, yeah, I know, thats not bad, but I felt like crap after. $20 seems like too much money. I'm sure the tsunami victims would like makeup. I felt so guilty after spending it, and still do, and I feel like crying. Is there something wrong with me? Is buyer's remorse only for new homeowners? WWSOD? (What would Suze Orman do?) *long drawn out sigh*

I only bought new makeup because I've recently decided that I think I'm ugly. Nothing eight pounds of makeup couldn't cure, right?

I found another cute skirt for only $5 in another store, it was short and I don't normally wear short skirts, but I thought I'd give it a try. I went and tried it on in the dressing room and decided I should save my $5 to put toward leg amputations. Forget liposuction, I have thunder thighs.

I have given in to the media. I am no longer beautiful.

I'm going to go put that frozen violin into the microwave...