sleepy | Wedding Crashers soundtrack!
June 3, 2005
At this point, I had not slept in two and half days. I wasn't even tired anymore. I was just...existing. Harles and I planned the day around our meals. We'd get up, join the group for continental breakfast (aka a fancy array of bread and mineral water, very "continental" jackasses) and hop on a random bus in hopes of getting lost in a foreign country. Everyday was a new experience. We never knew where we'd end up...or if we'd ever find our hotel again.
On this particular evening, Harley, David and I were laying in bed, unable to sleep AGAIN. We had no clocks in the room and not one of us had a watch, even. Nights seemed endless. If I wasn't trying readjust and get comfortable laying between the cracks of two single sized beds, I was staring at the ceiling. David sang dirty songs to me to try and entertain me, but I just got progressively irritated. At one point I rolled over and saw Harley snuggling with a pair of jeans.
My insomnia and boredom were interrupted by a knock on the door. I was nervous, so I made David get up to answer it. It was Amanda, one of the girls on the trip with us. Apparently she couldn't sleep either and was wondering if any of us wanted to go out. Oh, hell yes.
We figured out it was 2:30 a.m. We all got dressed in the dark and quietly walked down the stairs into the lobby and I snuck a purseful of truffles for the road. We decided we all wanted food so we put together our Francs and (made a frankfurter!) headed toward the train station, hoping something in there would be open.
The four of us circled around a vending machine trying to decide what to rot our American teeth on when a voice from behind us echoed "You speak English?"
We turned around and saw two girls sitting on a bench, one was sleeping in the others lap. "Where you from?" She asked.
"New York."
"I'm from Minnesota. And she's from California." She motioned to the now slightly awake girl in her lap.
"What are you guys doing here? Vacation?" We asked, walking over to the bench. I was so happy to find English speaking people that I walked away from a vending machine full of American candy.
We sat and talked for about an hour or two. They were backpacking through Europe as a graduation present to themselves and had been all over. Switzerland was their last stop before home. They explained to us that they had missed their train and that there wasn't another one until 6 in the morning, so they had been waiting there since 9 or so for the next one.
After a while of more talking, the four of us, sans our new friends, decided to go out and explore some more before it got even later. Walking the empty streets we realized it was going to be damn near impossible to find anything open. We walked through the park and past the big cement wall of teacups and saucers and found another little Kebap shop with a little beam of light pouring out the open door. We have arrived! Food!
If you can't sleep, eat!
We walk in and order our food and sit at a booth in the back. In fact, the entire wall was one booth and we were sharing it with everyone else in there. I sat next to a southern looking lady who wore too much makeup, but smiled at me when I sat next to her. We watched the Swiss version of MTV and I was mesmerized by all the energy these Europeans have in their music videos. It was insane. Everything was so upbeat that you'd wonder whether or not any of 'em ever had a bad day in their life. Not to mention, obesity is not really an issue for non-Americans, so that explains the energy level, I suppose.
Other than the music, the four of us were quiet while we ate. I could feel myself getting increasingly more tired, yet I knew no matter what I tried, I wouldn't be able to sleep. We walked back through the park and toward the train station where wanted to make a little delivery before going back to the hotel. We brought the girls some food for their trip home.
When we got to the room we changed back into our jammies and put on the TV. It was rumored that you get 10 minutes or so of free porn before they start charging you for it. Turns out, moaning is universal. Just wanted to clear that up.
10 minutes of free foreign porn and the Swiss version of Mannequin starring Kim Catrell later, the sun was rising and it was time for another cruddy breakfast compliments of the Weiner Salon. (I kid you not, that was the name of the resteraunt in our hotel. And if food is their business, I suggest they stick to weiner hairdressing, as the name implies.)
For our last day in Basel, Harley and I thought we'd try something new and - - -shop. Again. So we hop a train without knowing where it's headed and hope it's not to a slum. We end up on the other side of River Rhine which is also shopping central. At first glance, this part of Basel has a strikingly similar feel to SanFransisco, with the cable cars and the close, parallel streets lined with shops and cafes.
We shopped for a few hours, most of which were spent in the extremely large H&M. I hit about 20 shoes stores, on average. Around 2, Harley and I finally felt like we could sleep. We hopped a bus back to our hotel (that's a lie. We hopped the wrong bus at first and ended up somewhere that was not our hotel. So we actually hopped 2 buses to get where we were supposed to be. I am no conquistador.) and I slept! For 4 whole hours! Not bad for 3 days!
We woke up around 7-ish and Mama had yet another hair crises. Mama's chi was still seemingly broken and I was getting really good at convincing him that nobody, other than himself, cares what his HURR looks like. So around 8:30 we left the room and hopped another bus to hopefully a resteraunt somewhere.
I'm not really sure where we ended up but something tells me it was the Manhattan of Basel. Designer stores, fancy resteraunts...I was home! We settled on a place to eat and Mama and I shared a nice meal together. We had $22 antipasto. And the best ice cream ever.
Trying to get back to the hotel again was another project in and of itself. Apparently the trains and buses stop running at a certain time. And apparently bus drivers are accustomed to abandoning ship without checking if people are still on it. For long periods of time. Yeah.
Mine and Harley's conversation on the back of the bus can be described like this: "You say something." "No, you say something." "Oh my God. I'm so scared. What are we gonna do?" "Do you think that guy looks like Dustin Hoffman?" "Yeah, a little."
Finally by the grace of some unseen force, the bus starts moving again. I don't know if it was the driver or if it was some random dude off the street, but I didn't care.
When we got back to the room, David was nowhere to be found. I decided that I didn't want to share a bed with him anymore. Waking up with his arms around me was enough to make me gag at this very moment just thinking about it. The sleeping arrangements needed an adjustment, quick, before he got back.
Aha! We would sleep in the bathroom! Capital idea!
So we take our feather bed and some blankets, pillows and a lamp and set up shop in the loo! This ought to teach him, we thought. He can have that whole bed to himself and we'll sleep on the cold tile floor!
"Girl, mama is not comfortable."
After all our hard work setting up a master suite in the master bath, we both realized that, while sleeping in the bathroom is funny, it's not the most comfortable. So we came up with a better idea.
We pretended to be asleep on the bed when David came in. And when he peered over at me, on his side of the bed, drool POURING out of mouth, he decided it might be better to sleep on the floor. So thats what he did.
I never slept better in my life.
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