Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I was going to write a different entry but this grabbed my attention

I'm sure all of you who use AOL saw this article at some point today if you signed on. I guess I can't really say that it's surprising that people who have to wipe asses to pay for their bills don't really love their jobs as say, a six-figure figure who is an architect! But then again, my job in retail ranks me as #10 on the ol' depressometer...I also have the disadvantage of being a girl and being of the young persuasion.

The article also stated that the surveys were conducted in 21 major occupational categories, but what about those not even considered as a part of the study? Perhaps such as these.

Aerobics Instructor - my guess is you have be to eerily joyful to attain this position...it's not very often you see a woman clad in all nylon/lycra derivatives and random body part "warmers" (like anything is ever cold while you're working out!) smile in the mirror without that shining sparkle as brightly white as her Reeboks! I can't imagine a Debby Downer type mustering up enough energy or enthusiasm to get a whole room full of people psyched on life yet alone get up and be the center of attention in a room full of people.

The Lunch Lady - I hope to God (if there is a God) that we have all seen Lunch Lady Land. If not, I will even provide a link for YouTube in which anyone who has never seen it can type it in (Lunch Lady Land -SNL) and watch it. You can thank me later. There are some obvious triggers for depression here...I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to have innumerable moles, random patches of long, course hairs in random places, smell, and on top of it all have a bad case of the gout! Not to mention looking like a lady version of Chris Farley! I don't know if it were me, after marrying a Sloppy Joe I'd go take a bath in the deep fryer, if you catch my grease fire.

Greeter at WalMart - Well I guess that wouldn't be so bad after either (a) losing a limb (b) being in a war and surviving it and (c) well, this is where I would normally put "working at WalMart" but  I guess it doesn't quite work in this scenario.

Prostitute/Hooker/Whore/Ho - Um, risk of STDs is not something I would like to have to face on the job...no pun intended is intended here. But maybe that's just me. I hear some girls really get off in that line of work.

Jiz Mopper - Just making a movie reference here. Please don't turn me in to AOLthorities.

Day Care Worker - That's really only if you're allergic to the little snot-noses like I am. But I would also like to add that other than the germ factor, there is the poop factor, the noise factor, the dealing with parents factor, the choking on plastic toy factor, the licking the floor factor (also a germ factor I realize but I felt that I should duly note this as a little boy licked my counter today as I was ringing his Dad out), the "I want candy!!!!!" factor...I'll stop here but I could go on all day. ...

Disney World mascot, I mean, "actor" - see above but add also that it's hot and touristy.

Clown - I don't know which is scarier...a clown that is that happy or a clown that is suicidal with that goofy smile caked on his face.

Suicide Bomber - I hear it offers no 401k.

Gastroenterologist- Sure the money is good but talk about a trade-off. I know on my breaks I like to sit in the back and bitch with all the old ladies over coffee about snippy customers that think they're always right but I can't imagine what coffee-talk is like amongst these guys...but I do imagine that "what an asshole" comes up just as often as it does for those in retail.

I am flabbergasted that dentists and postal workers made no appearance on this list, but at second thought maybe those occupations are reserved for the Most Psychotic surveying.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nothing since before Halloween. When I don't post it ususally means I've either had nothing to post about or I am so busy living life I don't have time to get to say anything. My weekends get like that. My life tends to come at me like a freight train or not at all.