I cannot form a solid thought. I cannot create a cohesive anything. I am lost. Words that are going through my head:

abortion, death, breathing underwater, deep blue, suicide, naked, not good enough, not strong enough, not pretty enough, resistance, distant resolution, forever, congestive heart failure, everybody's girlfriend, out of control, intrusive parents, undetected depression, undetected moments, undectected you, unprotected love, unprotected laughter, contraception, easy way out, Rod Stewart, didn't want, can't love, can't be, peaceful coexistence, if kids ruled the world, if i ran the world, if i slept too late, if i met you sooner, Bobby, awry, vagina, phallic symbol, patriarch, Oedipus Rex, Oedipus Complex, San Fransisco, the boy without a name, family feud, tiny apartment, big dreams, little girl, the army never looked so good, fashion, rations, louis armstrong, guitarless, broken strings, broken wings, broken records, funerals, babies in black, promises, blood, swearing, sluts, homphobes, homosexuals, lesbians, white glace`, noserings, purple hair, skateboards, hakey sak club, poetry, stomach problems, alcohol, marijuana, defining characterisitics, Vermont, jealousy, rude, lack of interest, lack of motivation, mad world, vioxx, nosepicking, earwax, unwanted everything, i ran, early 90s fanatic, legwarmers, heartsongs, music, soundtracks to life, unfolding, boxed in, bricked up, fenced, death, death, death.

'tis all for now.