Birthday Girl pt. 2 - Bon Voyage!

Less than 2 hours left of my birthday : (

I really wish it could last forever. How I love celebrating that wonder that is me.

I spent a very small portion of the day packing and now, as I look around my room at the various stacks of clothing, I feel I should've focused on it a little more. I don't know what to bring. I hate to look touristy so that automatically excludes shorts, visors, fanny packs, socks & sneakers...basically anything my mom would wear. I want to look stunning. I packed a few really fancy dresses. And nothing says cobblestone roads better than high heels.

So that's settled.

I packed the usual - - - slutty underwear, condoms, curling iron, straightening iron, oversized ego, travel sized Operation, Tums.

I left the following things home - - - bad attitude, pessimistic outlook, overall sadness, broken heart, people who don't call me for my birthday. (How's that for discreet?)

Things I wish I could bring - - - Tracy! Anthony! Backstreet Boys pillow. My Egg!

Obviously I am still neglecting packing as this entry just grows and grows.

Tomorrow is not going to be fun. After a 5 hour bus trip to NYC, I board a plane for a 7-8 hour flight to Zurich, then hop a train for however long to Basel and arrive there at 8:15 the next morning. Thursday is all about Luzern and by Friday I'll be in Florence for 5 days. Then, off to Rome! I'll be back on the 10th.

Bon Voyage!

Spera qui che trovo la felicità che merito. Desiderarme la fortuna. Mancarme mentre sono andato. Te amo sempre.

Birthday Girl Pt. 1

The last 16 hours or so have been MAGNIFICENT. I've been partying like it was 1985!

I had dinner plans last night with my friends Tracy and Erin and we went to a little French resteraunt called Le Petite Maison. And oh my, oh my...the food was incredible! We ordered a mushroom salad for an appetizer...it was the sauteed mushrooms over a bed of lettuce, drizzled with an unfathomably great dressing...it was so good we ordered two, one after our main dishes. The waitress wasn't sure when we asked her..."Can we have another mushroom salad?"

"Um...I'm not sure, let me go ask."

I guess people really don't order appetizers after a huge meal, but alas, I'm the birthday girl, therefore anything is possible!

For my main dish I engaged in a little Bouillebaise Riveria...this fish soup flavored with saffron and other fabulous expensive spices. It came with toasted bread with pate' ...and pardon my french, but holy crap! It was the most intense bread ever!

Tracy had salmon in a champagne sauce that came with cavier on top. I love to try new things so I was all up on her cavier. Except when she offered it to me she asked me if I wanted any CAVALIER. I said, "No thanks, however, I would love to try the cavier."

I don't know if any of you have ever tried cavier but it taste like those minty ice breakers that Jessica Simpson advertises, but instead of the mint goo that squirts out in your mouth it's more of a salt water coming out of an eyeball substance. It's pretty tasty. (no, seriously.)

So after $80 worth of WONDERFUL food and wining and dining with my ladies...(however there was an empty seat that I kept wishing Stephanie was sitting in :( ) We went over to Tracy's where she had dessert for me. ! But when I showed up I saw it was a little more than just dessert....

SHE THREW ME A STAR WARS PARTY!

With Yoda cups and Vader plates and Storm Trooper (<3) wrapping paper OH MY!

It was perfection!

She had a bunch of different Italian pastries and tons(!!!!) of presents for me! God, I love her. She bought me some artwork for my clockroom orange and matching pillows for my Ty Pennington Collection bedspread plus a journal for my trip.

Then we busted out the champagne that me and Tracy finished between the two of us. (Erin couldn't have any because she just found out...there's a cake a-baking in her oven!) It took forever for us to open the champagne because we are weak little girls but when we finally did....it tasted like heaven out of the paper Yoda cups.

So we got a little tipsy and told funny jokes and took TONS of pictures. And it wasn't even my birthday yet! I still had an hour to go!

Just as the party was breaking up, I called Brian since he lived up the road from where I was. I spent the midnight of his birthday with him, so we planned to do the same for me. I told him about my ultimate Space Fights party and that I was gon' have Tracy drive my drunk ass to his house so I can get some more presents!

(I don't know if you can tell by the pictures but Damn! I looked FABULOUS!)

So we hung out until the clock struck 12 and I turned into BIRTHDAY GIRL! 20!!!!!!!!!!!!And he gave me a present (Jon Stewart's America book, awesome.)

We ended up hanging out until 5:30 in the a.m. and he drove me home just as the sky was getting light. We walked outside and it had just got done raining, so it was damp, but still warm. There were little birdies chirping and the sky had a pink tint. I didn't really want to go home. I wish we could've just drove forever like that. There was no other cars on the road and I found myself actually in a moment of contentment.

I crawled into my bed just as the sun came up and fell asleep. I felt like it had already been my birthday and that I was a very lucky girl...

 

Ooops! My Grad!

Well looky here...

After an extremely lazy semester (though I still managed a 3.5!) and an hours worth of HORRIBLE speeches...I am a graduate!

I know I should be on top o' the world right now, but I'm not. I'm in bed with a terrible migraine and impending anxieties about Monday. I haven't even started packing.

...and she can't be convicted she's earned her degree...

...and the most she will do is throw shadows at you, but she's always a woman to me...

the worlds getting CARRIE'd away!

 

Alright, I admit it...even I have jumped on the Vote or Die American Idol bandwagon. Over the past few weeks since Constantine's untimely end, I at first boycotted but then reconsidered after getting a glimpse of an all-Bo buttshot...I must say, in the beginning I overlooked him and went straight for Constantine who scromped with the camera from Day 1.

I participated in nonsensical banter with my homosexual Idol minions...all of their votes going for yet-another-sweet faced-glam girl...just goes to show a little glitter gets the vote. Something tells me if Bo sported a plaid belly shirt he may just've snagged up the votes.

Alas, my guilty pleasure is over...I'm a Bo-girl...I dig the hair...the rough voice...he's Alabama Man!

We must pray for the soul of Bo...

((This is my Star Jones shoutout of the entry: Go visit Jennifer's American Idol page so I can get free stuff for my unwedding!))

Onward.

...on the verge of greatness...

drove out to Syracuse today to visit one of the loveliest ladies around...Heather. Dragged my arse out of bed this morning, heart heavy but I knew I had the whole day ahead of me, I should at least see where its gon' take me! I drove like a madwoman across water and made it to her house without getting lost twice....once was enough. Met her wonderful family...everyone seems so gracious and in love with each other there. Her father stood, his hand out to shake mine...it was nice. Her friend lives with her too, she was really pretty. Heather's room had this ginormous (that's jai- normous) painting sitting on the dresser...it had alot of gold and green it, the wooden frame was splitting and chipped. She told me she found it on the side of the road. Cool.

((While writing this I noticed that as I was typing a sentence the word DIE magically appeared on the screen. ...Just another reason life is crazzzzayyy...do they call that a Freudian typo? Hmmm...))

We went downtown to get a cup o' coffee...the first shop we went to was closed and before we could think, "now what?" we turned around at a stone's throw and saw another one. It's the Wal-Mart for intellectual caffeine addicts. A cappucino and an espresso shot was 6 bucks...this is what I work for?

Her friend Jeff came with us...a budding photographer. We'd stop every few steps or so so he could take a shot...I trust a camera more than my memory, however something about trying to make time stand still freaks me out a little. Onward.

I'm writing all the numbers from my cellphone into my wee pocket-sized address book, as well addresses...it's coming to Italy with me. Postcards must be sent. Cell phone is off. Over the last few days I couldn't help but feel completely trapped by the idea of a mobile device...I want letters. Something with a little more personality. And I really abhor customers yapping away on their cell phones in the store...when did everyone become so chatty anyway? Is there really that much to say? Come on now. Cant everyone see cell phones are bad? They promote gossip. And gossip is bad. Mmkay?

I'm also working on a list of things I need to do when I get back...decisions must be made. Life decisions. I usually save life decisions for Denny's, but I may have to make an exception...must be productive. Onward. I want to write letters to friends...make special gifts for all the birthdays I've missed...put artwork up in my room...save up money for travelling...

Iz' raining here again...it's like the 4th day in a row or something. As I was driving this morning I drove out of the thick patchy clouds into sunshine...I saw a plane fly by. I felt like it had my heart.

Onward.

 

 

Another vein...

Bleed - Anna Nalick

Well, it's been almost a year to the moment
When I finally realized it was over
And I knew that love wasn't good enough
Of a reason for me to stay
Well, I saw you yesterday; you were drivin'
And I tried so hard to forget
You were alive, and as you passed by I began to cry
Over things that I did not say

And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me

So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own

Well, it takes all of my strength to be stable
And I force your insults under the table
And if you were wise you would compromise
And allow me to live my way
'Cause I am not a force to be reckoned with
And you don't have a clue what you're messin' with
And you can't see to the best in me
'Cause it's more than your heart can take

And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me

I'm awakening me

I'm awakening me

I'm awakening me

So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own

I'm takin' my heart and I'm settin' you free
And, baby, now you're just another song to me
And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me
To bleed

No, I haven't fell off the face of the planet...

I just haven't had much to say.

I've been lunching, no matter what time of the day. I've been clubbing. I've been slacking. I've been BABYSITTING. (Sidenote: I will NEVER do it again.) I've been witnessing best friend's exocommunication from the mall. I've been not counting the days to my 20th birthday. I've been reminscing of those I love. I've been listening to "In My Head" by Anna Nalick on a loop. I've been glued to the American Idol clips that Jennifer posted. I've been hanging up. I've been walking away. I've been toasting to Italy with glasses of red wine over Sex and the City with Harley. I've been considerate. I've been deserving. I've been playing rubber guitar in my rubber band. (hahaha.) I've been recieving large stuffed lambs via the mailman, filled with goodies from WV. !!! I've been flirting. I've been contemplating a big move. I've been falling in love...with my friends. I've been slamming on the brakes, in hopes stupid random boy in my car would go through the windshield. I've been warm. I've been designated driver. I've been saying goodbyes. I've been told I resemble Natalie Portman. (Which, for the record, I don't believe at all, however, I revelled in the compliment anyhow. Who cares if it was from a drunk bandmember?) I've been doing the Time Warp. Again.

TIMELINE:

4 days - - - Graduation. (yes, I'm going.)

6 days - - - My 20th birthday. No big plans. It's looking to be a depressing day.

7 days - - - At this time next week, I will be on a bus headed towards NYC to catch my 6:00pm flight to Zurich., where I will spend the first 4 days.

11 days - - - Boarding a choo-choo to Italia. Salute!

20 days - - - Home again, more than likely making a BIG decision.

This is my promise for AT LEAST one more entry before I leave.

...this coming from a girl who can't leave a store without trying all the ridiculous hats on.

Stess than Lellar

There's been so much going on in these past few weeks...between random trips to Florida, paper after paper, test after test, work work work...I'm finding it hard to believe that I'm sitting down doing something that I want to do...and that I have time to do it.

Last day of class is this Thursday and all my papers are due by next Wednesday. As of this moment, I have 9 papers due. (And I'm writing a journal entry! Priorities!) Hopefully when it's over I will be able to drown myself in something I actually enjoy doing. I have a list miles long of things I want to do. Well, maybe not miles, but a few post-its full.

I've been trying to keep my focus and not get lost within myself, like I was a month ago. Things have been much better, although I find myself wishing I could just numb everything all together. It might be easier that way.

Florida was great, again. I got to see Steph, though not as much as I would've liked to and saw her apartment which is beautiful. And of course I saw Mario again and we stayed together. We had a really good time. Went to the bar a couple nights...and I was so wasted that I spent half the night jabbering about how much I love Ray Romano. It's true. EVERYBODY loves him. How could you not? He's perfection. I'm not sure when or if I'm going back, but I do get to see Mario again when he comes home in a few weeks before I leave for Europe. (Best birthday present EVER.)

You'll all have to forgive me...I know my entries have been less than stellar. Hopefully I'll get back into it soon.

there's nothing more to say.

I'm back home with not much to say.

Maybe after the last week of school goes by and I'm done writing the myriad of papers due, I'll be able to start to enjoy writing again.

Until then...