THINGS I HATE

• People who throw cigarette butts out the car window
• Research Papers
• Pseudo-intellectuals
• “norms”
• The marketability of depression
• Wal-Mart
• the legal inability for gay and lesbian couples to marry
• the fact that all of what I eat has ingredients that I cannot pronounce
• 1 acre per minute of the Tropical Rain Forests are being burned down
• That as an individual, I feel jaded by life
• I have this growth in my ear that won’t go away no matter how much I pick it
• Gas prices
• That those who run our country DO NOT have our best interest in mind
• City driving (even though this isn’t a big city)
• Crying children
• People who leave their signal on FOREVER (and it always seems those are the ones who never turn)
• Reality TV
• The TGIF lineup
• People who don’t clean up their dog poop
• People who don’t smile back at me
• Lawnmowers
• Waking up early
• When c.d.’s skip
• The smell of popcorn
• Science
• This god-awful poncho trend
• Magazines that try to enhance a woman’s ability to get a date with a “great new ‘do!”
• All things Jesus
• Those “deep thinker” types who see a crumpled napkin on the ground and stare at as if it had a profound beauty in its short life
• Dieting
• Fast food (I firmly believe that such a fabulous entity as food should be shared with people you love over a dinner table)
• Sketchy McSketchersons
• Holidays
• World hunger
• Being hung up on
• Being yelled at
• Breaking up
• That asshole kid (he’s my excuse as to why life sucks)
• Waiting
• Bees