Blogging is my religion.

religiously frustrated | Hootie and the Blowfish

Ok. I do admit I was very annoyed in the last entry. You have my sincerest apologies.

I'm not going to lie. Initially, when John and I stumbled onto the topic of religion the night we met, I was disappointed. Not necessarily that he was a Christian, but that he wasn't too understanding about mine.

So the other night after the fabuloso cd release party, I was John's d.d. so he could celebrate. On the way back to my house at 4:30 for french toast, conversation somehow shifted from the creepy guy at the bar who hit on me and told me I had a mouth like a sailor, to religion. A topic I told him from the start I didn't want to cover. After all, it's not like we're having a baby together and want it baptized. This was, up until recently, a very fun and relaxed relationship in the zygote stage and I was thoroughly enjoying it. There was no need for this serious of an issue...and inevitably, that serious of a fight.

After an hour or so of him talking about things that I didn't want to listen to and I sat silently on the bed, I told him "I think you should go."

He left my room without a word and I heard the door open. I didn't cry and wasn't too sad, just disappointed that he, of all people, wouldn't listen to a word I had to say on the subject without being called "ignorant."

But before I could even get up to close the door behind him...and us...he was back  in my room and sat down next to me on the edge of the bed. "You know, I really don't want us to be apart."

I told him that I really liked him and that I didn't want us to be apart either. However, there was a compromise to be made.

I told him he did all he could do for me for the time being. And that IF (big IF) and when I decide I want to LEARN anything about it, or hear what he has to say, that I will come to him. And also, it's important for both of us to not denounce or deface the other's beliefs and to not criticize. AND! That in order for this to work, he must also have FAITH in me and in us as well.

Then I told him I was tired and to get out of my face. (It was 6:30 in the morning, damn it. Religion was the LAST thing I wanted to talk about.)

I woke up the next day just in time for work, but was miserable. I knew after the way things went last night that it'd never work out between us. His faith is too important to him and my lack thereof would never satisfy him. He said when he's with someone, he wants be spiritually with them as well. (Apparently "spiritual" to him means Christian. To me, spirituality has little to do with religion and can still be achieved without humping bibles.)

So all day at work, I planned how I was going to break up with him. Even though I really really really really didn't want to. But I just couldn't see any common ground.

So I called him after work and he asked how I was and all I could say was, "I want my Nintendo back."

I don't know what happened. But something did. And we're still together. Very HAPPILY together, I might add.

And last night, I brought the topic of religion up. And I asked him a question about his faith. We got into it a little bit, I'm sure we only scratched the surface....have you ever seen the size of that book? Well anyhow...he answered my question and was very tactful in doing so, and shut up the minute I told him "enough."

If there is some greater unseen force, I can see why he brought us together at this point in our lives. We both could use a little balance.

But that's a big if.