5-4-3-2-2-2-2-2-2-2...one.

Worst New Years ever. No wait, there was a worse one. The night I got dumped right after the ball dropped. Talk about starting off on the wrong foot, though it felt more like being stuck on the bottom of the shoe.

So Second Worse New Years ever. Spent most of the day in the Emergency Room after an episode I had the night before. An episode? You ask.

Yes, an episode. Picture it: A balmy evening in upstate NY, my sister, her friend and myself are all hanging out in her kitchen. I get up off the chair and feel slightly dizzy, so I sit back down. And thats when everything went black.

I felt a crash, heard loud noises and could feel myself struggling and screaming.

Then I woke up.

The chair was across the room, I had been kicking it as I laid unconsciously on the floor. And as for the screaming? They said they heard none.

My head felt hot, my body ached and the noises were traded in for a silence that smelled like fear. I had no idea what happened. Only a bump on my head and a bruise on my shoulder.

I came home and laid on the couch, feeling exhausted, tingly. I didn't tell my parents until the next morning. My mother made me go to the doctor.

I was freaked out all night, it may have been the most terrifying thing to happen. I didn't know if it was a seizure or what had happened.

We spend 6 hours in the ER, which was filled to the brim with the elderly and children alike, all with the flu. And if I didn't have it going in there, I certainly will get it in the days ahead. My throat is feeling a bit sore already. (Yeah yeah, its all in my head.)

After 6 hours they had nothing more to offer me than "If you keep fainting, come back." Gee, thanks for that. And thanks for the lousy tylenol. And drawing my blood. Could I feel anymore violated?

They told me the blackout was due to low blood pressure but I still think there's something sketchy with wiring in my brain. I tried to talk them into a labotomy but they said all the labotomists are backed up with their work. Funny, I thought they'd be aHEAD of themselves.

So now I'm feeling a bit drowsy, achey and a bit dizzy. So no going out for me. Happy freakin' New Year. Here's to another year of depression, lousy sex and singledom.

Not even an alcoholic would drink to that.