This entry is SERTA make you laugh.

I spent most of the night going through old things, weaving out what I no longer used, fit into or cared about. And though the pile is enormous, I still feel a heavy weight of material items binding my path. I put alot of clothes aside for one of my friends who needs them and others I'm going to try and sell or donate to the Salvation Army. Its hard for me to think about all the money and time wasted on the obtaining of these superfluous things, I mean, it's not like I need clothes. I don't need a million black sweaters or pairs of jeans (shoes, on the other hand...) I just get tired, I think, of having so much stuff, yet so little contentment. I want to reverse that. So now I'm stuck with a bottle full of anti-depressants and a housefull of 20 years of things. And I mean housefull literally. My things have taken over. They're everywhere. And it's all just meaningless stuff.

Which brings me to my next thought. It's Christmastime, which means there's a helluva lot unnecessary gift giving goin' on. People buying things just to buy things. I recieved a few shoity presents this year, which, I know, were probably well thought-out gifts given to me by special people, however, what is the proper protocol for these situations in which you don't like the gift in question? Is it okay to return? Should you ask for a receipt? Or do you just pretend to like it in fear of hurting the person's feelings? I have an idea. We should send out disclaimers to those who may buy us a gift. For example:

I am allergic to nuts.

I don't like the color blue.

I don't like you.

Send that in your holiday giftcards. It may be a bit presumptuous, but really, what isn't? And besides, it'll take care of those long customer service lines on December 26th.

I also woke up this morning with a thought. There's this school trip I've heard about from time to time. 12 days in Italy and Switzerland. Yeah, folks, I've talked to my parents. Bon Voyage. This isn't your mama's field trip. Come May you're invited to a Birthday Bash/ Graduation Party/ Going Away to School Shindig/ Bon Voyage Bruhaha. And you know what that means, quadruple the presents. Holla. Another one of my friends is also going, so I'm not going to be totally alone in a foreign country. And even if I was, I have major plans for picking up a foxy Italian boscotti boy for myself anyway. I can hear it now, "Dimme testa."

Seven years of Italian ought to be good for something. I don't want my elite skills going to waste. Afterall, I may as well put my parents taxdollars to good use by using my broken Italian to hit on un tesoro sesso per me (a sexy treasure for me.)

This laptop is cutting into all my stare-at-the-ceiling-because-I-can't-sleep time. And it also has been preventing me from my usual I-feel-like-dying attitudes. Maybe they should just hand out gifts in technology's name to every asylum from here to Timbuktu. Downloading porn never depressed anyone. Why is it that everything that feels so good is said to be so wrong? Fork that. I say everyone should download porn and rip off their mattress tag while eating ice cream out of the carton with a spork that was stolen from the hospital cafeteria.

And to all a goodnight.