No, no, no. Not head head, just Head.
Head is the nickname of my friend Justin.
A little history of Head: The bestest person I ever met on my 3 year journey in high school. (No offense Seany)
Reading through his journal: http://www.deadjournal.com/users/masterkueller made me realize jut how much him and I have in common.
He wants marriage. I want marriage. We are both frantically trying to find it in each little unlit crevice, but are unsuccessful. We have good intentions, but silently we sabotage ourselves again and again with these somewhat toxic relationships.
Like Justin, I worry about not finding someone. Finding "the one" was always a man or woman without a face in our master plan, but now that our plan as at our fingertips with impending adulthood, we are worried that "the one" will never make their grand entrance. And if they do, they won't fit in to our concrete mold of how our lives are going to be.
That's how idealistic I am.
I am not naiive, however, I know by believing the aforementioned to be true, I actually am. I'm not sure I truly believe that but somewhere deep inside I really doubt the fact that anything will happen that way. My master plan hasn't been going accordingly for about 18 years now, why start now?
And as we wake up day after day, searching, we lose hope each night as we close our eyes to sleep.
And it's at these times, I cry.
Have a lovely night.
1 comment:
Mm, your style is very unique. Perhaps that's why I keep on looking at all of your writing. What you do here is amazing. I wish I had time to elaborate.
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