And the winner is...JESUS!

I cannot believe it.

My journal is actually working. There is a Passion of Christ.

Oh, darn, I said it. Well, with that being said, allow me to make some interesting points about the movie that I did not see and will not see, although the "unsaved" tickets at the local church are tempting, being half price for those who don't believe in Bruce Almighty or whoever.

I heard Jesus has been the chosen one (no pun, seriously I didn't mean it, hahaha) for the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Oscars next year. All I have to say is it's about time and watch out for the crazy plastic-faced bitch Joan Rivers, she'll rip you a new one on the red carpet if you're not careful. I can see it now...

Plastic Face: "Oh! Jesus! Who are you wearing, dahling?"

Jesus: "Oh, sup, Joan? I am wearing the new 100% linen sheet from the Martha Stewart 'dress up your dismal cell' Collection. Tell me it's not fabulous."

PF: "No one can pull off a sheet like you, Jesus. Tell me, how's your father doing?"

Jesus: "You should know you were screaming his name all night last night."

PF: "Oh, that's right! I was getting the fat from my ass injected into my forehead. It was numb for hours I never thought I'd be able scowl at the famous assholes on the red carpet, but here I am! Well, it was nice talking to you Jesus. And congrats on your Oscar nom!"

Jesus: "Bye, ho."