Something in me snapped today.
The little voice said "enough is enough."
I went and spoke with my advisor today about why I am feeling so much pressure on my shoulders and why I feel so burned out and have a complete lack of motivation to go on any further with school.
We cleared some things up. He gave me options. He painted me pictures of what it was like for him and what would be best for me. He told me that he believed in me, as well as my work, and that we could meet up again to look for colleges together.
During this conversation, the topic of biology being a major suckfest came up. He said no matter what my major is, I'm still going to need to fulfill a requirement of two (count 'em two!) science sequences and two math sequences, regardless of their significance toward my plan of study and that if I dropped biology now, I wouldn't be able to graduate in May.
Riiiiggght.
So, what's a girl to do?
Search high and dry for her biology teacher to set up tutoring sessions to make sure she doesn't get another 20 on one of the tests. (I know, a 20! What the hell!) I found Mr. Biology, chilling in his office and we talked about why I did so horrible on my last test. We concluded that maybe it was because I spent about 20 minutes studying for 5 weeks of material. It all seems so clear now. He said I need to give him a half an hour a day, reading over notes and the chapters, on top of the actual amount of time it takes to read the chapter. At this point, I began to sweat.
I have science anxiety, turns out. Who knew? He asked me if I was the youngest in my family, in which I replied "Yeah, how'd you know?" And he said, "I can tell by the way you whine."
Game over.
After spending about an hour between my advisor and bio teacher, I was beginning to see that proverbial ray of sunshine through the storm clouds. A tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer felt like teachers were out to get me, (though some are) and that they were there for my benefit completely. Their job is to help me understand what they are trying to teach, not to challenge me in conniving trick questions or to make me sweat under their rule.
I'm coming off of this bad student phase. I even may enlist the help of a tool I for so long have dreaded. A day planner. Great.
I could use a little course in time management and study skills. Funny, after being in school for 15 years of my life, you think I'd have them down pat.
Who is Pat, anyway?
And why is he down?
2 comments:
I know Pat,
He's in my Physics class,
thats why we're down.
I have anxiety too, math, science, growing up.
Im glad one of us stepped up to the challenge
Kathleen
Well I totally suck at math (and don't care who knows it) and science either fascinates me (astronomy) or bores me (geology) or scares the pejeebers out of me (physics). But alas, that's the price we pay for a liberal arts education that makes us a hit at cocktail parties. (I'm trying to be funny here, play along... You know how I feel...)
Half an hour of studying for each hour of class is not an unreasonable expectation. And usually it's adequate. Unless it's a class that is so foreign to a person. Then a bit more time might be in order. I think I found your school's website.
And you're right. MOST profs want students to really learn the material. Because the material is their passion and, even though it may be a bit (oh, okay, a lot) unrealistic, they really hope that the passion is catching. And sometimes it is. Usually it's not. But there's absolutely nothing better than, after beating our heads against the wall, to see that spark of recognition and understanding in the face of a student. Nothing like it. So there is no satisfaction in failing students. It's necessary, but rarely enjoyable. (Although I admit, there have been a few thorns that I LOVED rewarding ...)
Does your school offer any seminars in time management/study skills? The problem so many find with college is that the "study skills" that got them by won't work in this new environment. It's a tough adjustment for some. And sometimes the best thing to happen is a slap-in-the-face failing score to make them realize that changes in habits might be in order.
Pat's down at the bar.
~~ jennifer
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