Monday, September 27, 2004

Marissa...is an infernal morosity.

I got a letter in the mail today from my friend Gabi. Gabi lives in California, goin' to college out there, working, being her beautiful self. She recently bought a motorcycle and decided to dye her long dark dreadlocks blonde before going purple. In this letter she told me, "We must learn to embrace our dark sides, without it we wouldn't be able to see the white lights of heaven." (Heaven in the nonreligious sense, I'm sure.)

I'm sure you have all witnessed my dark side. And if not, scroll down and take a look at the previous entry. It's filled with morose goodness.

This is my dark side. This is my wasteland. My battleground.

I am a train wreck.

I wish I could turn my back on everything, on everyone, start over again. That way I'd be free of this guilty conscious, of being too selfish, of making the same mistakes over and over again, night after night.

I don't love you. Any of you.

Erase me. Delete me. Forget me.

 

 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm a good listener, if you ever need a place to spew.

Anonymous said...

oh there are so many days when I wish I could erase everything, everyone and start over again, what would I do the same?
No one could ever forget you.
Kathleen