Ah, the joys of learning.

Wow. Sometimes I even suprise myself.

I get up at 9:50 this morning as usual, and due to my lack of remembrance for anything other than my name, I realize I have 2 things to read and write summaries on for Dramatic Literature. Greaaat.

So, within an hour, I am all read up and written and I'm not gonna lie to you, I felt like superwoman. Saved the world all in time for dinner. Or so I thought.

By the time 11:30 rolled around I was ready to go. But, since I didn't have class until 12:30, I had a half hour to putz around and do absoulutely nothing. Awesome, right? No.

I get in the car at 12:06. Then it hits...

Class started at 12! Good going, village idiot.

---But wait! There's more!---  (Always is with you, Mariss.)

Those papers that I spent all morning writing, yeah, pretty much now a a moo point. (It's a cow's opinion.) Not only did she not collect them, she didn't even go over them. The first time I actually understand dramatic literature, or so I thought, it's completely irrelevant to everything. Irrelevant to my well-being, to the class collectively, to society---TO EVERYTHING! It made me rethink my entire existence!

Dramatic Literature I somehow thought would be an enjoyable class. I love reading, writing, Shakespeare, blah blah blah. I guess what I didn't realize is that what I'm understanding about these pieces may not be whats understood without saying. I mean, what is actually meant as the purpose of these stories. How I interpret it seems to be the wrong way. I don't "get" what the other people in the class "get." It's turning out to be more frustrating than anything. I feel inferior, less and not as equipped as the others in the class. The others who can spew out Hamlet and other famous works like it's just their common language, something they talk about everyday. To me, Hamlet means only one thing: The special at Denny's. 

And is it just that class? No.According to my major, it is vital that I take Sadistics, I mean, Statistics, as well as Bio. Not exactly my specialties. And what do you think we learn about in Bio today? Not Bio. Try Chemistry. Did I read the course description wrong? I avoid Chemistry like the clap. I never took it. I dodged it all throughout high school and now it's finally caught up with me. Great. Isn't that ionic?

I know, I know. You only feel inferior if you allow yourself to feel inferior. My inferiority is my self-confidence shaken up a bit. When I take a step back out of my Steve Madden's and look at myself, I see someone who isn't that confident, who isn't as fabulous as she claims to be, I see someone who isn't all there. Someone who is too aware of the "wrong" things, instead of other "important" subject matter, like Chemistry and Hamlet. How does being "in the know" of society, love, fashion, shoes, friendship and online journaling prepare me for a career I wish to have in a few years? That's the problem. It doesn't.

What's a girl to do?