"Mariss, shut the F*** up!" - Anthony

I'm sitting here, hunched over, at my keyboard. "Hunched over?" You may ask. Yes, hunched over.

After a particularly drunken evening last night in celebration of Harley and Marissa's birthdays, I woke up with quite a few aches and pains, not to mention bruises, that I have no idea how they got there.

I'm not a regular drinker. In fact, this may be only the 3rd or 4th time I've done this, but this was by far the most gone I ever was. Oddly enough, I do not have a hangover. I still wear the sunglasses, despite the clouds, however, to cover my sleep deprived eyes. Everything on my body hurts that was numb last night thanks to Raspberry Bacardi and some man's beer he mistakenly left on the table. Oops, sorry sir, I think I may have just accidentally drank your alcoholic beverage. Thats aaaabsolutely my bad.

Oh, but wait! There's more! (Always is, with you, Mariss!)

My BFF was sweet enough to trade in those initials for some new ones: DD to his drunk best friend. Thanks again, I couldn't have made a fool of myself alone. (Au contrair...)

I will leave you with a personal favorite moment of mine last night. 

Anthony, being the bestest best friend ever! assisted both drunk Harley and Marissa downstairs to the restrooms. I told him I didn't need to go but he found it completely necessary to shove me into the dark bathroom and close the door anyway. How nice. I do a complete 360, like dogs do before they sit, and, being the part-time kickboxer that I am, feel the need to kick the door open. That's not even the best part. Anthony was standing right in front of the door! WHAM! I HAVE ARRIVED!

....WAIT!....THERE'S EVEN MORE!.....

We follow the muttering-to-himself Harley down yet another flight of stairs to the boy's bathroom. Anthoney takes the stall, Harley acquires the mirror (as usual, girlfriend) and I stand in puddle near the urinal. "Is this pee?!" I ask, unimpressed. I stumble into the corridor and bump into an acquaintance of a neighbor of mine. "I need to pee." He says.

He walks past me into the room where Harley is gazing ever so lovingly at his crimped hair (oh yes, it was 80s night?!) and stands at the urinal. Meanwhile, I am mosey-ing about in there, touching Harley's hair, licking his hand, etc. all while this poor boy develops stage fright. "I'm pee shy." He exclaims and walks back upstairs.

'Twas a good night.

The countdown has reached it's end. 1 day until my birthday. If you can't make it, turn on the 6:00 o'clock news where they will be reporting LIVE from my house.