Toxic.

Spin me, twirl me, hold me upside down. Hit me like a punching bag with words, weapons, hands. How could you hit, how could you forget, I'm not just any girl. Take me night after night use me as your secret, hold it close, until another comes along. Spin your spider's web, transluscent with memories that fades into nothingness like the drop of rain at it's dangling silk ends. Leave me, go, take it all away, you mean nothing, if nothing is everything. Your darkness isn't mysterious, nor is it magnetic to my weary eyes, it does nothing but infuriate me, with its contradictory beads on cashmere. You aren't who I thought you were, not even close. Compassion is absent in your sunken eyes, you drank yourself that way. Hang up. I can no longer breathe, I am suffocating underwater in a dripping panic of long telephone calls, nights in the backseat of your car. Your hands don't belong here, not on me, not without the promise that I again will feel something for you, anything, whether it be love, or hate, or bitterness or shame. Touch me when I am alive. I burn and grieve all lost yet I flourish in all that I have gained, who I am and what I've become. I am nowhere near finished growing into this skin. You bleed at my feet and I fall to you, I reach out to you, you turn away. I am crying, dying, bleeding in your arms, and you do nothing. Brave, strong, courageous. Give me time and I will be. Choose your battles. Pick me. There are times when I hate you, when I could scream and pound my fists into you, but I don't. I get afraid of losing something I never had, something too far away, too far out of my reach. You're too far gone. Another bottle, another day, leave your poison out of my reach. You're toxic. Comingled beyond recognition are memories that we once created, beautiful, now ripped, burnt edges in an angry inferno. Let go, if you don't love, don't be sorry, don't be hurt. I am not. And that's what makes me strong.