Babes in Boyland

So, BFF and I made it back from our maiden voyage on the Shitanic! 'Twas fabulosity at it's finest.

We hit the open road only 2 hours later than expected, with less than 3 hours of sleep between the both of us. While he was trekking the streets of NYC late Friday night, I was airing out my roast beef curtains, so to speak. Like Lionel Richie says, all night long.

Our destination was Elmira College, to visit my cousin Ron for the weekend. Little did Anthony and I know, Elmira is nowhere near where we live. It was not an hour and half drive. It was not near Syracuse. For most of the ride there, I desperately was wishing I had picked up the travel sized Operation game. There would be nothing more enjoyable for me to mess up a kidney transplant by rewiring our patient's pee bags to his heart. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. And the look on Anthony's face would be priceless. I can almost gaurantee he would've thrown it out the window.

We arrive. I'm sucking down an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts as we are welcomed by Ron and his ultra-uber-crunk cuddle buddy Brian. Let me just take a moment here to say how completely CRUNK this kid is. With his flaming orange hair, torn jeans and scruffy face...I couldn't help but be completely thankful for the homosexual community. I am so appreciative.

After a tour, an entire history lesson of all the buildings and a simulated oral sex job on Mark Twain's statue later---Ron brought us up to his dorm room to meet his roomate, Roland. (My cousin's name is Ronald. His roomate's name is Roland. I was waiting for a Donolar or possibly an Orlando to show up. God, how unoriginal can you get?! It's like me, Marissa ,and my best friend Sarisam.)(Oh yeah! Ron also had these other floormates whose names were written on their dorm door, "George" and "Michael." As in, George Michael. You know the resident assistants did ALL of that on purpose.) Anyhow, Roland was sleeping when we got there, but being curious and a single female, I walked on over anyway and peered into a mass of sheets and saw possibly the cutest boy ever.

He was so pretty I could cry.

I didn't get to see him awake until a few hours later. And when I did, I was shook. Not only was he beyond adorable, he was so charismatic and funny and smart. But wait---there's more. Get this: he's pre-med. Ugh, tiny orgasm.

Around 11:30, we decided it was time to head out to Elmira's local gay bar, Angles. We show up, walk in and are instantly swarmed into a plethora of techno, disco balls, strobe lights and sweaty bodies. The five of us hit the dance floor like silicone on Pamela and took to a night of dancing.

Since Brian was viewed as Buddha of the Gay Bar there, he spent most of his time dancing on the one of the many stages on the dancefloor, leaving Ron and Roland and Anthony to me. Holla.

I decided to be my ultra-fem hot self and go and get all up in Roland's grill. He wasn't having it. "I have a girlfriend."

Of course you do.

Somewhere between Love Shack and I Get So Emotional I got over it.

We danced until 3, when we finally headed back to the dorms. After being up for more than 24 hours, I was still hanging in there. We get there. All 5 of us. And all 2 of their beds. Greaaaaat. Girlfriend was not about to sleep on the hard floor.

Brian and Ron were obviously bunking up and they had brought in an extra mattress for me and Anthony. I was a little bummed, seeing as how I silently planned sleeping with Roland. Scratch that. He was outside on the phone to his girlfriend. Mhmm.

I decide I am not sleeping next to Anthony. I know he snores like a beast. I will not have that. Roland comes in and insists I sleep in his bed.

I could hear wedding bells.

"I'll sleep on the floor." He says.

Followed immediately by the death march.

After the proper "Are you sure? No, you sleep there, it's is your bed afterall...." I plopped down. Nighty-night!

The lights went off and I was still not tired. I decided to keep Roland, who was sleeping in a crevice between the two beds on the floor, company. Him and I talked for a while about stuff, then we get talking about his girlfriend, and while he was doing that...

I fell asleep.

Whoops.