Monday, November 15, 2004

Numbers

Since it is my one year anniversary, I began thinking about time today. I began adding and subtracting, counting and recounting. The figures I've come up with are mind-boggling and give me bit of a headache. Here's what I've got so far (with a little help from GOOGLE):

I've been an AOL Journal user for 525,600 minutes.

I've been a proud owner of a single life for 404 days.

Last time I enjoyed a good ol' roll in the hay? Less than 24 hours ago.

If I paid all of my application fees for each college I'm applying to, I would need about $350.

If I paid my $40 application fee to the college I want to go to and got accepted, my tuition per year would be $36,040. A year.

If I worked 8 hours every single day of my life, (assuming I live until the ripe old age of 100) at the base rate of minimum wage $5.15/hr, I would make $54,888,700.00 Again, assuming I didn't work February 29th of every other 4 years. And that alone would give me 20 personal days of my 80-year workshift.

Did you know that the average American spends 2-4 hours in front of the TV Mon-Fri? In a typical lifetime, of about age 75, that's 1500 hours, or 62.5 days. Think three times 62.5 days, you can build a Habitat for Humanity House for a family in need.

I once spent $40 at Denny's.

I have 97 pairs of shoes. Think if each pair were an average of $40, I'd a spent $3440 on shoes alone in the last 4 years. With that $3440, I could've bought a dinner at Red Lobster for a special friend as well as a plane ticket to go see another long-lost pal on top of a road trip from NY to WV to meet my dear Amber, which is mileage that I just cannot figure out.

In the last 11 weeks of school, I have devoted about 4 hours to studying Biology. In the last 11 weeks. And I wonder why I can't get anything above a D.

My birthday is 6 months and 14 days away.

My half birthday is 14 days away.

The average woman has 12 pairs of shoes in her closet, according to Harpers Bazaar. Well, on behalf of all the writers and staff at Marissa Bizarre Life, we feel bad for that woman.

I am 39354.8 millimeters tall, or, 5 feet, 1 and 3/4 an inch.

At least 1 in 4 sexually active Americans will contract an STD in their lifetime. Considering my number of partners, 3 may have had it.

Tonight, 147,000,000 of you are relaxing with the peace pipe. And I know 1 of 'em!

150 people worldwide kicked the bucket due to Mad Cow Disease, while 3% of all deaths is caused by choking. Whether or not its on a big juicy mad cow burger, we don't know.

It is reported by the Kinsey Institute that sexually active Americans between the ages of 18-29 have sex an average of 112 times a year. That's 253 days of the year sex-free, 60 of those days may be due to "that time of the month," and I'm assuming women spend an average of 193 days with a headache. Which, would take 386 extra strength Tylenol to cure, in turn leaving 40% of you hospitalized due to liver damage.

I've spent 1,265 of 1,826 days in 3 dead-end relationships from the age of 14 to 18.

50,000,000 little swimmers from 1 ejaculation could, in essence, impregnate each fertile, ovulating woman in the world. That's a lot of child support.

There are twice as many women than men enrolled in college in the United States.

$102.9 billion dollars was raked in in the fast food industry in the year 2003. As seen on the advertisement below the golden arches : Over 58 million Americans overweight. Consider yourself served.

Number of minutes that President Bush, Vice-President Dick Cheney, the Defense Secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, the assistant Defense Secretary, Paul Wolfowitz, the former chairman of the Defense Policy Board, Richard Perle, and the White House Chief of Staff, Karl Rove ­ the main proponents of the war in Iraq ­served in combat (combined): Zero.  

240,000 women per year are diagnosed with breast cancer. 1 out of 8 women will experience breast cancer at one point or another in their lifetime. 33% of women haven't had a mammogram in 2 years. 40,600 women die each year from breast cancer. http://www.breastcancer.org/ 

Presidentially speaking, Ronald Reagan held the highest position in 3 rankings: Oldest to enter office (1 month shy of his 70th birthday) Oldest to leave office (1 month shy of his 78th birthday) and Oldest to die (93 years, 4 months.)

8 of the 43 Presidents died in office; 4 due to assassinations.

3 of the US Presidents died on the 4th of July. While our nation was busy giving birth, Adams, Jefferson and Monroe were all busy being unoriginal and trying to go out with a quote unquote firework. (I just realized I could actually use the quotation marks, instead of writing quote, unquote.)

Beerly speaking, 7% of the Irish barley crop goes to the production of m'favorite beer, Guiness.

1 out of 4 women shoplift. The Bible is the most stolen book in history. Mathmatically speaking, we can infer that alot of nuns are cloest kleptos.

One in eight men snore. How did I get stuck with one of those 8?!

In 1987, due to the popularization of the Martini on dry land, 1 olive elimated from each salad served on an airplane saved airline companies $40,000.

And one more:

5 more minutes until my 367th day of journaling.

 

 

 

 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Joining you on the peace pipe!
When is your half Bday...mine is the 22nd of november!
Shall we partay together!?!?!
I think so...
I can't count my shoes,  I just got off of work and made way less than I planned.
If I averaged the amt. that I have spent on shoes, I may cry...
Kathleen
p.s. What a fun entry!

Anonymous said...

i suck at calculus! we are the same height, exactly *wink* you dirty dog!! i want to have sex in the last 24hrs for 24hrs *two winks. one for each 12hrs* i have never stolen a bible in my life but i live like a frickin' nun, sheez!!!

enjoy your smoke and a pancake, cheers!! barb~