lol.

BFF and I went to the mall today. We wore are shades in, because, let's face it, our future is so bright, we need shades. Clad in Salvation Army mixed with various Gap and Garage Sale items, we strutted our stuff, looking like a million bucks. Well, more like a million bucks in Monopoly money, considering most of the stuff we wore was dirt cheap. We're five flavors of fabulosity.

We were at the mall on a mission. We went to go see "Dodgeball" with my mom. My mother has a problem with saying things correctly so she kept calling "Dawdgeball" needless to say, we made fun of her. (Hey, it was clean honest fun.)

BFF sat in between mother and I, so poor kid really got the shaft. He had to dodge our constantly moving hands, getting popcorn, swapping sodas...and every now and then he had to be stuck in the middle of a conversation during the movie. "Mar! Isn't that so naughty? This movie is so fresh!" Giggles Mother Merry.

"SHHHHHHHHHHH" I reply.

"F*ckin' shut up, both of you miserable c***s!" mutters Anthony.

Anyway......

I loved the movie. Both my mother and BFF hated it. I swear at times I was the only laughing in the entire theater. But that's usually how it goes, whether it be in a theater, school....on a playground. Whatever.

I am bored. And in dire need of some high carb nourishment.

I am talking to an old friend online right now. I am not reminded of the many times spent with him, nor am I making plans to see him again. I am silently aggravated by his online vocabulary.

Him: Sup?

Me: Nothing. What are you up to?

Him: Chyllin 'n' stuff. lol.

 

Christ. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

And then...it almost always eludes to something sexual. I could be having a completely normal conversation and somehow these guys turn it into a freak fork fest. Example.

Boy: What kinda car u drive? lol.

Me: Jeep Liberty

Boy: u r soooo sexxxxay.

I met a boy at school last semester, we exchanged phone numbers and talked a few times. I am not embellishing when I say that he liked the fact he was "loaded." i.e. buttload of moola.

We were on the phone this one time and he said "Can you call me back on my house phone? Here's the number." So we hang upand I call the number and some woman answers.

"Hi, is Joe there?"

"Oh, sweetie, this is his mother. We're in our beach house in Delaware. Here's the number to the condo where Joe is staying."

Another example. I see Richboy in the parking lot at school.

"Can you help me find my car? I can't find it." He says.

"Well, what does it look like?" I ask.

"it's got...blahh blah blah....Oh! There it is! Silly me!" He walks over to a fully loaded luxury vehicle.

Money won't buy you my love. Though it will come close.

Boy: I spent $300 on my exgf and then da bitch cheated on me. I boughtsded her like diamonds and shyit..."

Me: You're f*ckin' stupid.

I have a new gray hair sprouting atop my head. I will name it "lol."

But for some reason, I am not laughing out loud.