Let's get Physical, Physical

As part of my "lose the flab" program, I have incorporated some new and awesome exercises that I myself made up!

First of all, in order to really get in the mood, you must, must put on some 80's groove tunes. In my cd player right now is "The Best of the Flock of Seagulls" "Candlebox" and "Cinderella". Next, you must pick out your awesome exercise outfit. Mine consists of a black tank top, a zebra print thong *blushes*, leg warmers and some really terrific (there's that word again!) sunglasses. Cowboy hat optional.

Open the windows. It will get hot.

First in the routine, I like to do all the "techie" stuff. i.e. lift 6lb. weights in reps of ten, 100 crunches, 1 pushup because that's all I can do, 100 more crunches. Feel the burn.

Now, turn the muzaaaack up extra loud. Make the pictures on that wall vibrate. Get in the mood.

Now shake it, girl! Shake that groove thang!

I don't dance like everyone else. I can't dance. But when I'm doing my 15 minutes of cardio, I must shed my inablity to boogie and get on with it.

I do jumping jacks, shimmies, arabesques, the lawnmower, the catepillar, the monkey...in my room, anything goes! I may look like a damn fool but it's great fun! And I'm always recruiting new members!

And don't forget, you must exercise your voice as well....so sing at the top of your lungs! For example, listening to--and singing along with-- "I Ran" but the Flock of Seagulls, I run at what feels like full speed, when in all actuality, I'm just standing on my green shag carpet! Visualizing the scenery also helps, and is interesting.

I usually pretend I'm on "Supermarket Sweep" searching for the lost Swiffer Wet Jet in order to take home the dough! In the end, I always win! And I get my heart rate up there, nice and fast, and can feel my pulse race. It's exhilarating.

When you are finished, consider lowering the music a bit, in consideration for the sleeping folk, if anything. Lie down on your green shag carpet (cardboard boxes, whatever) and relax. The next step? Sleep. Ah, sleep.

Now you know my secret! Join the club! It's held every night in my bedroom, in front of the mirror. Regrets only.