My Encounter with a Spider

I am deathly afraid of spiders.

So, you can imagine my horror when my mother asked me to do laundry this morning.

Mother, who is paralyzed with a broken back (as I am typing this she's screaming to me to help her get up from the floor where she's been laying) is unable to do the laundry because our washer & dryer is down in the basement.

I know what you are thinking.

"Your mother still does your laundry?"

Everyone says that in utter disbelief.

So, to clear that up...Yes, my mother does my laundry. In fact, she makes my bed too. I am a 19 year old college student who has an inability to take care of herself. I could see how you would think that.

My valid arguement? I don't care whether or not my bed is made. It's just not important to me. Yes, I could see maybe once a week washing the sheets, which means, stripping the bed and I don't have a problem with that. Sometimes I don't have time to make a bed in the morning. I don't care to. My mom wants her house "tidy." We don't have unmade beds in this house, she says.

Oh yeah?

Back to the laundry---

So, I head down there. First with no shoes, but by the third step I realize I realize I'm going to battle without a rifle. I put shoes on.

I head down, fear is crippling me. Taking over my every step. My heart is in my chest.

I reach the ground. The smell of must and mold permeates my "iron shell" in which I hoped to protect myself from any sort of spider invasion with. Mission abort! Abort! I screamed as I ran back up to my mother.

"I'm sorry," I say with tears in my eyes, "I can't!" 

"You have to! I can't move! Now GO!"

Reluctantly I sigh and huff and puff and stomp my feet to the door. I go again. I take a deep breath when I reach the floor, and calm myself..."ABC123 123ABC" (I saw that on an episode of "Family Matters")

"The spider is smaller than you. You can kill the spider." I tell myself.

"No I can't! The spider will eat my face off and lay eggs in its open festering wounds!" I argue.

I run to the machine. I spot 3 spiders. One in every direction. You think I'm lying? I wish I were, friends. 2 are dead, I know right off the bat. My mother leaves their rotting carcasses there after she nukes them with her mini laser beam she keeps in her laundry basket. Ha! The living one scurries across the the other side...it's now in the between the washer and dryer, in a foot wide space. Staring at me. It's a showdown.

I hear the music. Wah wah wah. Wah wah WAH. A bale of hay rolls by. The wind blows my cowboy hat right off my head. I smile, baring one blacked out tooth. The spider smiles, rearing it's venomous fangs.

Let the games begin.

I stare for five minutes. Shaking in my boots. Frozen with fear.

I run to the hamper. I sort colors and whites at a frantic speed. I dump a buttload of colors into the machine, add soap, turn on, close lid. Then I shuffle my feet over an inch and peer over the side of the machine. He's still there.

And I'm not quite finished yet.

I go to the dryer. He sees me. He inches toward me.

I scream. A blood curdling bloody mary scream. I feel my nose tingling, my face reddening, my eyes tearing. I run to the steps. My mother is blocking the doorway. She somehow managed to crawl across the floor and grab the broom, to shoo me away from the doorway until I came with laundry in hands.

I go back. I hear chants from my mother, "You can do it. You're bigger. He's scared of you..."

I run to the dryer. Grab the clothes. Throw 'em in the basket. And run for dear life.

I run up the stairs and over my mother.

"Did you kill it?" She asks as I rip my clothes off and jump into the shower to cleanse myself from the evilness. "No!" I whine.

"How could you?!" She screams. "Now it's going to lay eggs in the damp clothes. Man, I can't get a days peace! My back is breaking and..."

I try to help, but it does no good. Sometimes you just can't please the unpleasable.

So now I'm sitting here. I feel them crawling all over me. I look like I'm having a bloody episode.

 

I failed to mention my whereabouts for the past few days. Sunday, BFF and I went to Massachusettes with my sister and her friend. That was an adventure in itself. And a story all its own. I will post later along with a link to BFF's account of the happenings.

Good day.