"You're Next!"

I find myself glued to the TV. Yes, even an I, am insistant on watching the funeral for an Ex President.

I always felt a bond to good ol' RR being he was in office when I was born. (This is actually not true. Up until a few moments ago, I believed it to be Bush Sr. who was in office when I was born, but alas, a little research can go a long way.)

Anyway...

I find the services (all of them) to be beautiful. The combination of the music, the flags, the salutes...everything, is just a very special way to be remembered.

In the cathedral, the Ex Presidents were lined up to pay thier respects to their fallen brother. I couldn't help but giggle a little at the terrified expressions of President Carter's, President Ford's and President Bush, Sr.'s faces. It's like they knew that they were next. That death's pale finger was pointing at them, "You're next." The Ex Presidents are no longer invincable. And you can see them shaking in thier orthepedic shoes.

This struck a conversation between my mother and I on death. I told her I wanted my funeral to be like RR's or Kennedy's even. (Now, Kennedy, there's a president I can relate to. We were born on the same day!) I want to go out with a big bang! Of course the bands and such could play different music, perhaps "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel (or, hell, if he's still alive he can play it. Forget the military bands!) And instead of an American flag on my casket (extremely large shoebox, I'm going in style!) perhaps we could put just a nice designer dress or something on the top of it...Vera Wang, or Versace. Depends on my mood.

Of course I will want the same airtime Reagan is getting. A week at least. But I say it now, and I will say it again, do not, I repeat, do not, fly my corpse around and parade it through various states. If they want visit me, they can board the plane themselves and make the trip. I do not want to be having a bad case of jet lag when I reach those pearly gates (or whatever). I intend to be refreshed and dazzling.

There will be no horses.

And if Bill Clinton wishes, he can nod off during the eulogies as he did during Raegan's. I don't mind, really.

I intend to have the same amount of coverage as well. I already have plan with Barbara Walters to interview me as I lay on my deathbed, looking as gorgeous as ever.

My mother, on the other hand, being as whimsical as she isn't, says matter of factly, "I want to be cremated and scattered over the ocean."

"Which ocean?" My sister asks, obviously planning to make a joke, "The Arctic?"

"Hardy har har." Laughs Mother Merry.

"At least we'd get a nice trip out of it!" I exclaim, running over to the other couch, so Mother Merry doesn't try to spank me. (oh, yes, folks, it's true!)

I'm still watching it and will most likely gape at it all day. It's history on television. We know we'll all see a few more in our lifetime, but never again will we see Ronald Reagan's.

Another thing I have noticed is the apparent idealism that is shown after one passes away. He wasn't the greatest president, but they make it out to be. Perhaps it's out of respect.

I'm sure Clinton's funeral will be just the same, with no mention of his inablity to keep his presidential stapler in the presidential drawer in the oval office.

I won't be too far from the television set today.

It's times like these that I have faith in my country. That I can actually see history and understand that it was real and really, aside from a few tattered history books, that's all I've got.

...more to come...